-LRB- The Frisky -RRB- -- Matchmaker and dating coach Rachel Greenwald is responsible for 750 marriages , and she does n't believe you will find the love of your life by waiting for him/her to spontaneously appear in line at the grocery store or sit next to you on the subway .

Darn . There goes my approach .

This Harvard M.B.A. and New York Times best-selling author advocates a better way -- being proactive and approaching your dating life like a job search .

Sure , there has to be an intersection of luck , timing , and opportunity , to find love , '' she says , `` But you increase your odds when you do something about it . If you have a strategic organized plan , something will come through faster . ''

So , uh , what should this plan be ? Her new book , `` Have Him at Hello : Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love ... Or Never Call Back , '' just hit bookstores and has some ingenious ideas for us .

I had the opportunity to chat with Rachel and get a singles state of the union . Here 's eight interesting tips I learned .

The Frisky : Online dating is making me depressed

1 . The `` no effort mentality '' is crazy . We are officially the instant gratification dating generation . If love does n't happen instantly , we 're out of there . But anything worth having takes work . Rachel points out that we are willing to put effort into other things in our lives -- our careers , our friendships , our hobbies , our living space -- but we expect our love lives to come effortlessly . `` You would n't expect to be a CEO in five seconds , '' Rachel points out .

2 . It takes a village to find Mr. or Mrs. Right . An important step in working on your love life is letting people know that you 're looking . A lot of us are embarrassed to reach out for help when it comes to finding love . We think it seems desperate to admit that we would like to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with . I 'm totally not talking about myself , by the way .

`` The stigma is all in your head , '' says Rachel . `` That 's like someone saying ` I 'm unemployed but too embarrassed to find a job . ' '' Rachel suggests thinking of all the people in our lives as possible networking opportunities .

The Frisky : I slept with your husband and here 's why

3 . Stop asking `` Where ? '' Ask `` How ? '' Asking a friend , co-worker , family member , or acquaintance where you can meet a great guy is a dead-end question . When you mention in casual conversation to your `` village '' that you are looking to meet someone this year , ask `` how . '' That way you are enlisting them in your search . `` How ? '' is a far more proactive and empowering question . It implies suggestions and solutions .

4 . Get online . There 's no stigma about dating online anymore -- one-fourth of the people who got married last year met online . So , if you do n't already have a rocking online profile ... make one . But Rachel also recommends Twitter as an alternative source .

`` Why not throw a Twitter party ? '' she suggests . `` Send out a tweet to your friends and tell them that you 're having happy hour drinks on Friday at your favorite bar . Tell them to bring friends . ''

Rachel 's also a big fan of Meetup.com . `` It 's much more sophisticated then it was a few years ago , '' she says . You can search something like `` Singles , New York , film lovers , '' and find groups that meet in your area . You can even click through the groups and see mini-profiles and pictures of the members .

5 . Do n't forget about Facebook ! One-third of married people met through introductions by friends . Following that logic , Facebook may be our single most underused resource .

`` Treat Facebook like an online dating profile , '' says Rachel . `` Take it seriously . If a guy sees a bad photo of you on Facebook or weird things on your profile , he may not give you a chance . ''

Rachel suggests crafting the image you want to project on Facebook . `` Pick five words that represent you and make sure your Facebook profile reflects those five words , '' she says .

Once you 're satisfied with your profile , she suggested playing a game she calls `` I Spy a Facebook Guy . '' Here 's how it works : Give yourself 10 days to cruise around your friends ' Facebook pages and find 50 guys that you think are interesting . Then scope out their profiles and write them a message . Hey , you already know someone in common .

6 . Married people are a great resource . They know a thing or two about relationships , but more importantly , they know other single people who are marriage-minded . Plus , they 're much more eager to see you settle down than your single friends .

The Frisky : Why women should ask men out on dates

7 . You may have tried it all , but have you tried it well ? Trying something once or twice is n't enough .

`` Doing online dating with a bad profile picture or going to a singles event and leaving after you scanned the room once is like looking for a job with a poorly written resume or applying for a sales job -LSB- when -RSB- you 're an accountant , '' says Rachel . Instead , take a look at what you 've been trying and how , and think of ways to do it better .

8 . It 's OK to outsource . How do we know what we 're doing wrong in our dating lives ? Rachel says that there 's no shame in hiring a dating coach . Hey , we have personal trainers , therapists , and head hunters . Outsourcing is part of our culture -- yet we feel we can tackle the dating thing on our own . Why ?

OK , I 'm sold . I will definitely be trying out some of this advice .

The Frisky : 5 reasons why moving is good for you

TM & © 2010 TMV , Inc. | All Rights Reserved

@highlight

Rachel Greenwald says your true love wo n't show up on your doorstep

@highlight

Dating coach says you have to go out and look for them

@highlight

She says to use Facebook , Twitter and your married friends as sources

@highlight

Says there is no shame in hiring a dating coach